dear george bush

i want to thank you for wrecking the economy in part by invading two countries in a war that we will never win. i know adversity builds character. thank you for going after the oil fields so that the price of gas could creep up towards 4$ a gallon and we could all eat that with the rising price of produce. tough times test what we are made of and boy are we being tested. i want to thank you for making us the laughing stock of the world. laughter is the best medicine and so we are doing our part to heal the planet. i am grateful for your pronunciation errors, your cowboy rhetoric, and the way you slouch over the lectern...it keeps us in the headlines and as mayor nagin likes to say, even bad news is good publicity. i think it is wonderful that as we sink deeper into a recession and continue to lose the war on both fronts that you seem ever gleeful, going so far as to entertain us with the occasional shuffle. your fearlessness fortifies us because at least we know that as we are all drowning, you will be safe aboard the only life raft. and living in the kingdom neath the sea, i will drink to that.