Tuesday, March 31, 2009

crime alert

i don't know how many of you signed up for the crime alerts text message system but i would like to encourage everyone to do so. we have to protect ourselves. an alert was posted earlier of 3 young men kicking in doors in the marigny, so be on the look out. stay safe and watch out for each other. it is a war zone kids!

john labruzzo is at it again

clearly john labruzzo takes his cues from nagin, in that he seems incapable of self-censorship. his latest antics have him calling for the drug testing of welfare recipients. i think labruzzo needs a refresher course in constitutional law. this is an illegal body search without a warrant and lacking in probable cause. it, in fact, criminalizes poverty. if you are poor, you must be of the criminal element and therefor in abdication of your civil rights. yes, i agree that the welfare system needs to be over hauled but this is not the way to go about doing that. perhaps, we might start by paying people a decent living wage in this country, because it is impossible to live of minimum wage. you certainly cannot raise a family on it but then again, labruzzo would like to stop that from happening as well via forced sterilization of women on welfare. i guess only the wealthy deserve to breed and they never ever sink into the depths of criminality. i mean i cannot think of any wealthy ceo's that have looted tax payers of their hard earned cash, can you?? john labruzzo, you were elected in part to uphold the constitution not try to subvert it based on your own prejudices. since you seem unwilling to take that aspect of your civil duty seriously, then i think it is time you stepped down. we, the tax payers no longer require your services. thank you and hopefully you will not have to go on welfare once you lose your job because then we would have to drug test you and sterilize your wife. thanks for playing along, we have some nice parting gifts.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

my birthday

i sat in the bar last night, sometime after midnight and so officially my birthday. i watched a man carry feathered pillows down decatur street. he was homeless and it was cold out. i was suddenly grateful for the things i have. it was not a bar that i would normally frequent but i was lured down there with the promise of a kiss from the bartender. i was caught up in the moment and forgot that it was also troy's birthday and the first drink on our birthday is always to him. troy died of aids when we were barely 21. 21, my god! can you imagine ever having been so young? there was nothing that we could not do. everything lay before us. i was caught up in the moment, kissing the bartender and i forgot to toast troy. i feel guilty for forgetting him. well, here is to you my brother. we are 38 and that is a long ways away from 21. i'm living in new orleans just like we always talked of doing but i still think back to all those days at the river park, swinging as high as we could go. every time i think about you plowing your car through the church and all the way to the pulpit just before easter sunrise services, i laugh. damn but you would love it here. new orleans has the same fucked up luck that we always seemed too. the things we could get into together. i miss you troy and i really wish you were here to celebrate our birthday together.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

upping the butch factor

i just bought a new truck...well, new to me. it is a 2007 ford f150 xl and considerably bigger than my last truck, making it a decidedly butcher buy. it would catapult me into a whole new butch bracket so to speak, were it not for the fear that i will in no way, shape, or form be able to park the thing. they take your toaster away for less than that. it is a great truck though. the ride is incredibly smooth and it handles like a dream. there is no carpet, making it dog hair proof and i am happily spoiled with air condition, a rear view mirror, a front bumper, and windshield wipers that work! plus, there is a lot more room and it comforts me as being far more reliable during storm season. so wave, if you see me taking 30 plus minutes to park the beast but don't help me...it just makes me nervous.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

just wondering...

does anyone else find it strange that the auto zone has all the de-icing fluid you could want but no rain-x? i mean, it actually rains here. hell, it is raining right now.

Friday, March 20, 2009

my date

things went quite well right up to the point that she told me she is bi-polar, off her medication, feeling fine, but is starting to experience some anxiety. basically, she is a skyline that is about to start burning. it is one thing when you are already invested in someone, in love as it were but to plunge into that without the attatchment is nothing short of suicide. oh well, there are other prospects and we shall see. to be continued...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


sometimes you can just tell when there is something off about the area in which you live. i came home tonight post-tour and there was no one on the street. it was eerily quiet and deserted. when i got out of the car, i remember thinking i should hurry inside because something didn't feel right. when i entered my house, my roommate asked me if i had said hello. i replied no. he swore he heard me say that as if i was already in the house. later there was strange whistling to be heard. we settled in to watch a movie and at some point we heard what sounded like gun shots, loud enough to make me think they were right outside the house. it is always hard to tell if what you are hearing is actually gunshots or firecrackers or a car back firing...etc. so, we waited and what we waited for was the reaction of others, because nothing draws a crowd like a shooting. the odd thing was, no one came out. the street stayed silent. we decided to go outside to investigate. a couple of people were on the street. my roommate thought he heard them say that some white people were riding around shooting and to get off the street, only i did not hear a car with the shots. i thought he said something about us being the white people and they should get off the street because we would call the police. i don't know but there is just an air of something strange and it is not yet dissipating. it may prove to have an interesting impact on my dreams.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

aig bonuses

n a comment aired this afternoon on WMT, an Iowa radio station, Grassley (R-Iowa) said: “The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better towards them if they’d follow the Japanese model and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things — resign, or go commit suicide.”

well, i think that says it all folks!

Monday, March 16, 2009


i turn 38 at the end of this month and that is enough to get me re-evaluating my life. i am a reasonably happy person. i love my city and for the most part, my jobs but i can't help feeling like something is missing. perhaps i should be farther along in my life, a famous writer or successful artist. maybe i am just spinning my wheels. i know that i have been wasting a lot of time and energy on relationships that don't work and maybe that is a self-created distraction that prevents me from focusing on the goals i wish to attain. i fail in relationships so i don't have to fail at other things. how is that for a little pop psychological self analysis? turning 38 will do that for you. over all, my thirties have been good to me. i felt more confident in myself and more sure of who i wanted to be even if i have yet to totally become that person. i studied and got my tour guide's license and bought a house. i'm proud of those achievements. i regret the string of failed relationships that are behind me like so many train wrecks. oh, the carnage. i regret not standing up for myself more in my most recent relationship. i am not sure why i endured the abuse and constant teasing. one wonders these things. well, here is to growing up and learning life's many lessons along the way. i have begun feverishly preparing for a new series of paintings and am currently putting together a writing portfolio. here is to hoping that 38 is the year i make my mark on the literary and artistic worlds. and here is to evolution, may we all continue to evolve. damn, i hope i do!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

i think maybe i need a vacation

perhaps some time away might be restorative. i could stroll the beach, deeply inhale the salt air, and feel the tension melt away. i need to do something because tonight, i threatened to "break" a man's "motherfucking legs" if he did not leave my tour guests alone. now in all fairness to me, this man has constantly harassed my tours even after i threatened to call the police so he fucking had it coming. i might also point out that i was brandishing my umbrella at the time. hmm, that sounds a bit cracked doesn't it? yes, a little get away would be nice. i'm sure i could regain some composure along the gulf of mexico.

Friday, March 13, 2009

the trials and tribulations of being a tour guide

i spoke with another friend of mine who is a tour guide and his wednesday night tour was terrible. the majority of the group was excessively intoxicated, to the point that many of them repeatedly referred to him as "tour boy." Again, i must ask the question of why would you pay for a tour that you are too drunk to appreciate and then be derogatory towards the poor bastard that got stuck dragging your ass around the french quarter? i will take a sour old woman any day over that kind of bullshit!! still, as i said before, there are worse jobs to have. i cannot imagine dragging myself day in and day out to some cramped cubicle, cut off from sunlight and lit by harsh fluorescent lights, where i must toil at a computer screen all day long. so, despite the madness that sometimes accompanies a tour, i am grateful to have such a job.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

on being a tour guide

i am always stunned and left to ponder why on earth you would spend 20$ to take a tour and then be damn determined not to have fun. i had a woman on my tour tonight who got bent out of shape over the fact that the tour price had risen by a whole two dollars and thus she remained sour for the remainder of the tour, refusing to even crack a smile or remotely entertain the idea of actually having fun. hello, you are in new orleans and while it is true that my tour contains a lot of history, it is hardly a walk to the gallows. i don't really think people realize what goes into making a successful tour. not only do i have to remember the dates and facts and somehow weave them into a palatable campfire story while having to have a firm grasp of new orleans' history and its place within the larger historical picture in order to answer random questions but i also have to deal with the madness of the french quarter streets. there is the noise factor of trash trucks, motorcycles, screaming drunken tourists,cars blasting music, and the ever original folks that say boo. there are also the approaching drunks, homeless people begging for money, freaks that try to physically touch my tour guests, and the odd person who threatens to beat my ass down in the street. this is all going on as my guests are talking amongst themselves and over me, talking on the phone or texting, drunk and falling down, drunk and suddenly thinking they are terribly witty, or adopting the i am oh so bored and can't wait to get off this tour posture. i must be a body guard, historian, story teller, ghost hunter extraordinaire, and babysitter all rolled into one. now, don't get me wrong, i love my job. i'm out in the open air, getting paid to walk and talk. it is more than some and that is saying a lot but sometimes it can be difficult and that is without the added onus of a dower old woman who refuses to have fun.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

jindal takes on DUI

first, let me state that i do not advocate drunk driving. it is a risk to the driver and everyone else on the road. having said that, i do not think that trying to circumnavigate the constitution in order to deal with drunk driving is the answer. as it stands right now, you have the right to refuse to take a breathalizer(how the hell is that spelled anyway) test and though that refusal will cost you a suspension of your license, the penalty is still less severe than if found guilty of drunk driving. i realize there are many people out there that think, if you are sober, why would you refuse. in other words, this law only impacts you if you have done something wrong. i might disagree. these types of constitutional check points were written into our legal system as a means of protecting citizens. a lawyer on the news put it this way, it would be like the police showing up to search your house without a warrant and your refusal being seen as an admission of guilt. no, this is not the way to go. it should always be your constitutional right to refuse to take an alcohol test. besides, studies indicate that many officers ask drivers to blow twice which artificially elevates the alcohol percentage, thus pushing sober drivers over the limit. the breathalizer test is not as accurate as we would like to believe and that is yet another reason for us to keep our constitutional protections in place. if you are stopped for a DUI, it is always a safer bet to demand a blood test. blood test are far more accurate at determining the percentage of alcohol in the blood stream.
yes, drunk driving is a problem on american roads and i agree that something needs to be done but the erosion of constitutional guaruntees is the wrong way to go about it. i have some suggestions but i think i will save them for another blog.