the ugly tourist

today i heard the most ridiculous excuse for backing out of a tour. it was a cemetery tour and the lady actually expected us to put on a jazz funeral for her. i kindly pointed out that we save jazz funerals for people that have actually died and therefor she would not be witnessing one on the tour today. she got mad at this. she actually got angry over the fact that there would not be a convenient death and consequent jazz funeral for her amusement. the tourists are getting so demanding. perhaps this is our answer to all the criminals sitting on death row...we execute them for the tourists' enjoyment and then send them off to the cemetery in fine fanfare a la a jazz funeral. the funny thing is, even if we had given her just the spectacle she was looking for, she probably still would not have tipped. the gall!