evacuating

i'm mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. we left new orleans yesterday around 7:30 p.m and it took us 10 hours to drive to tuscaloosa, alabama. god, driving out of town was hard and i broke down at several points along the way. this feels too familiar. i hate the waiting. it's the waiting that drives you mad. i'm trying to be optimistic. i can't help but think that the universe would not be so cruel as to let this happen again so soon after katrina and so close to the anniversary. i keep hoping that nash roberts is right and that gustav will track into texas(sorry texas). it is hard to write this. i think it is impossible to articulate the storm of emotions going on inside of me. i know we all suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and it really is dredging up foul memories. dear god, just turn the damn thing. i love my city. i love new orleans. i don't want it washed away. there is no place that feels like home the way new orleans does, not even the sleepy town i was born and raised in. new orleans is a freedom that i have never known before and if it goes away, i do not think that i will ever feel at home again.